More precisely, I ponder my path, how it has not led where I, or those around me, previously hoped and expected. I consider the reasons for that, and most days I conclude that it must be three parts the result of my own disastrous decision-making and one part providence. I find I don't want to alter my long-held plans for who and where I would be in my adult life. But I also find I must do so, although living in a different set of life plans, a different path, feels very much like donning an article of clothing that just doesn't fit quite right. I remind myself that while the path I've come down and the path ahead may be steeper and slower and generally less comfortable than others, it is still my path. Mine alone. And I am learning to trust that someday, perhaps when my years are very, very ripe, I will wake up to find that all of the pieces will have slid neatly into place and that I am exactly where I need to be.
"One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night."
~Kahlil Gibran
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